Sunday, October 09, 2005

Scribbles: Crayon NO BELL AWARDS

This Just In from The 65th Crayon:

The 65th Crayon has just returned from an undisclosed location near Denmark where the Royal Order of the Benevolent Society of Pure Color Wax Crayons met for the annual bestowing of the “NO BELL, BOOK, or CANDLE Awards. The Society has met every year since 1905, shortly after the first crayons found their place in the world.

The 65th Crayon, as Head High Out-of-the-Box Protector of Creativity, ran the secret balloting which is said to take place in cloister in a village of 16 people who do not speak.

“We review the awards people have given throughout the year and decide which are most likely to encourage creativity,” said our Most Head High Reporter. We lock ourselves in a room and do not leave until we have three winners upon whom we all agree. As it happens, this year’s winners are all from the Ig Nobel Awards, known as achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced.”

The statuesque crayon looked particularly dashing at the podium as he stood in front of a blank pad of paper to make the announcement. The audience was hushed in crayonticipation, knowing the visibility and push these awards would mean to the winner’s career.

“The third place NBBC award goes to Gregg Miller of the United States for his outstanding work in developing rubber replacement testicles for dogs who have been neutered.”

“Considering my parents thought I was an idiot as a kid, this is a great honour,” Mr. Miller had said about his Ig Nobel award, as reported by the news at the BBC. He was speechless about his NBBC.

“Second place,” said the serious reporter cum Society Head Honcho. “Goes to the University of Minnesota Team who worked diligently to prove that people can swim faster in water than in syrup.” Their award was accepted by a friend because the team had encountered a problem that was a bit sticky.

“If I may have your complete attention,” our masterful Crayon requested as he readied to announce the winner. “The first prize goes to Clocky, the alarm clock that runs away and hides when you attempt to turn it off.” The prize was accepted by a friend of Clocky’s MIT inventor.

“We had so many great entries to choose from, but Clocky stood out from the crowd. People don’t have the energy of crayons. They need something that will get them to quit hitting that snooze button in the morning.” said our colorful friend with a smile.

The NO BELL, BOOK or CANDLE Awards were named to remind crayons of the things that hamper crayon creativity—school bells, coloring books, and of course, wax crayons.

“The idea of a wax candle just burns me up,” said The 65th Crayon after the ceremony.

—me strauss Letting me be
The 65th Crayon is a copyright of ME Strauss. All Rights Reserved.

10 comments:

Phillip Conrad said...

ME,

What an incredibly interesting blog you have here.

I've spent a few minutes this morning reading the first page here along with following some of the links.

With only that small bit of viewing my creativity juices (they're purple now; before viewing this blog they "ran clear") have been substantially replenished.

My morning chugga-mug, however, has run dry and it's time to step out briefly for more foreign coffee beans and a local newspaper.

I'll have to investigate more upon my return.

Extraordinary.

PC

Jennifer said...

What a way to start my morning--laughing! I love your blog Liz and most especially the 65th Crayon. Oh that was just a wonderful piece!

..."sticky situations...crayonticipation....stood in front of a blank pad"

Just wonderful :)

ME Strauss said...

Thank you Philip,
And Welcome to the neighborhood.
We've got a great groug that hangs out here. I think you'll like us.
Can't wait until you get to meet some more of us.
Smiles,
Liz

ME Strauss said...

Hi Jennifer,
I'll pass your words of praise off to the 65th. I really should make him hang around to answer all of these comments, but he waxes on an on about every report that he melts into bed every Saturday night and I just don't have the heart to wake him.
smiles,
Liz

Cheryl said...

Ig Nobel - Haha! Love it. I hadn't heard of them.

Glad the 65th enacted his duties so successfully ;-)

Brilliant post. And I want a Clocky.

ME Strauss said...

Hi Cheryl,
Thanks.
Read the link. There really are going to be Clockys for sale soon. If they don't come to the UK I'll see that you get one.
smiles,
Liz

Janus said...

Oh quite a laugh, thank you. I suddenly feel the stuff I have invented or written suddenly doesn't seem nearly as goofy

ME Strauss said...

Thank you, Janus,
I like that you can find yourself in what I write. If you find it fun other folks usually will too. That's how I look at it.
smiles,
Liz

easywriter said...

:o) Yep! I still love crayons.

ME Strauss said...

Hi Easy,
Who couldn't love a crayon who is as smart as this one is?

You have good taste most certainly.

smiles,
Liz