Scribbles: Crayon NO BELL AWARDS

This Just In from The 65th Crayon:

The 65th Crayon has just returned from an undisclosed location near Denmark where the Royal Order of the Benevolent Society of Pure Color Wax Crayons met for the annual bestowing of the “NO BELL, BOOK, or CANDLE Awards. The Society has met every year since 1905, shortly after the first crayons found their place in the world.

The 65th Crayon, as Head High Out-of-the-Box Protector of Creativity, ran the secret balloting which is said to take place in cloister in a village of 16 people who do not speak.

“We review the awards people have given throughout the year and decide which are most likely to encourage creativity,” said our Most Head High Reporter. We lock ourselves in a room and do not leave until we have three winners upon whom we all agree. As it happens, this year’s winners are all from the Ig Nobel Awards, known as achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced.”

The statuesque crayon looked particularly dashing at the podium as he stood in front of a blank pad of paper to make the announcement. The audience was hushed in crayonticipation, knowing the visibility and push these awards would mean to the winner’s career.

“The third place NBBC award goes to Gregg Miller of the United States for his outstanding work in developing rubber replacement testicles for dogs who have been neutered.”

“Considering my parents thought I was an idiot as a kid, this is a great honour,” Mr. Miller had said about his Ig Nobel award, as reported by the news at the BBC. He was speechless about his NBBC.

“Second place,” said the serious reporter cum Society Head Honcho. “Goes to the University of Minnesota Team who worked diligently to prove that people can swim faster in water than in syrup.” Their award was accepted by a friend because the team had encountered a problem that was a bit sticky.

“If I may have your complete attention,” our masterful Crayon requested as he readied to announce the winner. “The first prize goes to Clocky, the alarm clock that runs away and hides when you attempt to turn it off.” The prize was accepted by a friend of Clocky’s MIT inventor.

“We had so many great entries to choose from, but Clocky stood out from the crowd. People don’t have the energy of crayons. They need something that will get them to quit hitting that snooze button in the morning.” said our colorful friend with a smile.

The NO BELL, BOOK or CANDLE Awards were named to remind crayons of the things that hamper crayon creativity—school bells, coloring books, and of course, wax crayons.

“The idea of a wax candle just burns me up,” said The 65th Crayon after the ceremony.

—me strauss Letting me be

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Winners of the Ig Nobel Prizes

Clocky.net

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