Sunday, August 28, 2005

Scribbles: Snow White Never Kissed

Disney Spinned the Snow White Story


In Woodward and Bernstein style deep-cover reporting, our super sleuth 65th Crayon has uncovered story that will shake your childhood.

“Disney rewrote the Brothers Grimm,” The 65th Crayon reports. “That’s a fact. The stories that most Americans know and love are traditions of 20th Century Disney movies not 19th Century literature.”

“More sensitive folks may want to stop reading here,” the Crayon advised. “This is not content for the faint of spirit.” He offered this list of Disney changes to the original story:






In the original story the Prince did not kiss Snow White to wake her after she ate the apple. The poisoned apple, stuck in her throat, came loose when her coffin was being transported.


No dwarves befriended Snow White. Some short people did work in a local mine.



Since there were no dwarves, the stepmother did not die while trying to kill them. What really happened was that after their wedding, Snow and the Prince found that the stepmother was the evil one. The Prince sentenced her to death by dancing shoes—she had dance in red hot shoes until she fell down dead.



“I’m delighted to hear that,” said a prudish school librarian. “I’ll be able to put the fairy tale back in the school library. We had banned the book for blatant sexuality. No one had actually read it, of course, because everyone knew the story.”

Folks at Disney.com were unavailable for comment.

Actor Rob Lowe, remembered for a campy 1989 Oscar routine, featuring Snow White, which caused some Disney consternation, also was unavailable but was said by a friend of a friend of a waiter’s friend to be overheard as commenting, “I knew there was something dicey about that Snow White thing.”

“The news has been spun more than we knew,” said the out-of-the-box, 65th Crayon. “What will it be next? That Lassie was a boy?”


The 65th Crayon sends a special thanks to Yuna's Village - A Daily Slice of Life for including his last report on her site last week and encourages all to stop by her site to meet the colorful people who hang out there. He'll be stopping by to visit the villagers soon and bringing treats.



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Along with this report, The 65th Crayon sent the following links:

A site that compares the Disney movies to the original fairy tales
Mouse Planet


Grimms’ Snow White and Rose Red Story
Grimms's Fairy Tales

Last Week's Report



The 65th Crayon affirms that all crayons in these reports are fictitious and any resemblance to real crayons is coincidental. The guy who writes this stuff doesn't exist, thereby proving the existence of a figment of your imagination.

—me strauss Letting me be

10 comments:

Ned said...

There's a reason they called them Grimm.

It's a bit of a stretch though for a girl living in the woods with seven men to claim the title "never been kissed".

I heard Snow White drifted.

Cheryl said...

I like the brother Grimm - the Roald Dahls of their time, no slush.
Btw - Coca Cola re-wrote Father Christmas (and re-clothed him), but you knew that?

The Humanity Critic said...

Just passing through, I'm liking the blog by the way.

ME Strauss said...

Ned:You're right Ned, Cinderella, I think is the worst of the bunch. What they do to get that slipper to fit--ugh.:) --me


Cheryl: I knew Coke had hand in Father Christmas, but not that the old guy was running around scantily clad. :) Thanks for the tip. I'll save that for later in the year. ;)--me

Cheryl said...

ROFL!!!!
No, he was in brown furs, they dressed him in bright red (their colour) for an advertising campaign back in the thirties, I think. Until then he was all brown!

ME Strauss said...

Hey, cheryl, glad you liked it. Good to see you. --Liz

Gone Away said...

Actually, Lassie really was a male...

Never discount the crayon!

ME Strauss said...

Thanks for coming by, Clive. Leave it to my UK friend to have read up on these things. You'll have to join my buttoned-up Brit and I for Cognac sometime. You'd enjoy each other I can tell. :)

smiles,
me-Liz

Jillian said...

I think I get a gold star -- I knew about the apple-in-the-throat bit. The rest was news to me. Ah, but don't get me started on Disney's bastardization of classic fairy tales!

ME Strauss said...

One gold star officially awarded.
Good on you!
smiles
ME