Friday, November 03, 2006

Genuine Feelings

He’s attractive, magnetic, so entertaining. He’s often smiling and calling folks by name, when he tells them colorful and elaborate tales that they wish they could remember and tell half as well. He teases, and plays, and teaches them things that are useless, but entertaining.

He owns the audience and makes a stage where one never had been, just by his presence. He’s got the presence of a king or a hand-shaking, baby-kissing politician. All of the show, so much show − always his guard up − people never hear his authentic voice speaking.

So rare is the moment that he is not “on.” I wonder what he’s like when he’s alone. Did he get taken by that Elvis song − that “all of the world is stage”? I wonder if deep inside anyone's home.
The grouch is quite cranky. He smiles when he must, begrudgingly. He doesn’t know the Elvis song nor does he know any. He only talks to those few who are good enough. He works, and fixes, and hmmph! explains what he must. This one owns the code and the passwords to stuff. He’s a headmaster trying relationships because books say that he’s supposed to, though he can’t really see the point of time wasted on talk. He uses façade so no one knows exactly what he is thinking

Rare is the moment that I’ve seen him show genuine care for another person’s feelings or their situation. Did he take his teachers too seriously when they said “Sit up straight. Fold your hands. Be serious. Stop talking.” I wonder?

So different and the same in one way. Neither one understands the curtain, the wall of not seeing between them and people. They don’t realize that despite their work not to reveal who they are. It's opaque like colorful water. We can see through it. Little actions show feeling they think are hidden. For example they don't know they can’t tease someone they don’t like. They don't understand why their family doesn't laugh when they only pretend to be funny.

Two men so protected, they don’t know that the world can see when they are leaking bits of genuine feelings.
−me strauss Letting me strauss.


Anonymous said...

Liz, you look at these two men and see what they don't. Maybe it's better that they don't know that the world can see small bits of genuine feeling.
It makes me stop and wonder about the ways I protect myself and what I think I know about myself and how others see me.

"ME" Liz Strauss said...

I think we all protect ourselves somewhat and in someways, but some people try to hide behind a facade all day long. Living must be so tiring for them until finally they must lose track of who they are without the facade. That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

Tell No One said...

Funny and sad. Useless and monumental.

I feel uneeded pity when I meet people like that. And I sometimes need to behave that way myself, just to get through a moment. But when I'm there I'm always wishing someone could see inside and accept / understand what I'm trying to hide.


"ME" Liz Strauss said...

And I'm when I there I wish someone would see.
Me too. We all build walls wometimes to protect outselfs. Sometimes we would be silly not to. That's when we hope that we're wrong and someone will convince us that it's safe to come out. It's not wrong to hide from danger, but learning that in daily realtions people only have the power we give them makes the walls less necessary.