I wrote this in college and edited it today.A Dissertation on Pretty Special
Also called:
A lot of good being pretty special has done me.
(written on blue paper to show there is still hope.)
Also called:
A lot of good being pretty special has done me.
(written on blue paper to show there is still hope.)
I. Definitions of pretty special.
Please don’t confuse pretty special with pretty or special. Pretty means nice to look at, pleasing. Given that you are adequately pretty − the rest is a state of mind.
Walk into a room as if you’re pretty. Convince one person − you− that you’re pretty and you are. But being pretty takes energy.
Special means not ordinary, unique. It takes extra eneergy even to pinpoint special. It takes some bravery to do. And then, of course, it takes energy for folks to understand special, too.
Being pretty special− what does that mean? Does it mean giving up the right to be the same as everyone else? Does it have to mean trying too hard to do what should come naturally? Does it mean making everyone else’s life easier at the expense of your own?
II. Payoffs of Pretty Special
Some days, it’s nice to see through pretty special eyes, to be the eternal optimist. Yet being the eternal optimist takes energy unlimited − like trying to float for days on end.
A kind of distant admiration − call it glamour − comes with doing, but glamour is the shiny side of lonely. It’s sad that you cannot touch it and hold it. A kind of belittling, distancing, distrusting comes with it too.
III. Pretty Special in the End
All in all people don’t like to spend much time with “pretty special.” To the average human being it’s just too demanding.
So you give up demanding and people say, “You’re pretty special.”
Irony.
−me strauss Letting me be
3 comments:
I think Pretty Special isn't something you can set out to be. Oh, you can TRY, but it never works. Your dissertation proves that hypothesis.
I think Pretty Special is who you are in the eyes of someone who loves you. And then, even when they tell you right to your face, you still don't believe it.
Dawn,
I was find myself making a noise when I read your comments, a noise like the ah-ha noise I just made. You pull from what I write surprising truth and insight that I didn't know was there. I so look forward to hearing what you say.
Jennifer!
Good morning!
Thanks for stopping to see me. As you know I was 20 when I wrote this and I tried too hard at everything then. I tried not to be in the way most of all. :)
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