Saturday, April 01, 2006

The Essence of Being Alive

Almost since I can remember I’ve been phenomenal at multitasking. I can remember 83 tangents of a conversation while typing a story and answering three questions. At the same time, I might be clicking through a calendar and checking the status of three programs, keeping nine balls in the air, and four plates spinning. I’ll stop to tie my shoes without missing a comma, and I’ll work my way through a novel before I get to the end of my third cup of coffee. Doing any less than that always seemed boring.

I’ve always said it was focus and attention. “All of life,” I would say, “is showing up and paying attention.”

But how much attention can I be paying when I’m mulitasking?

I’m so busy doing. What am I seeing? What am I knowing? How do I have any awareness? I don’t. I’m a robot. Task-oriented, that’s what they call it. Who would think that’s what I would be or what I would even want? I think I want this multitasking to stop.

One thing at a time sounds so much saner. One idea, one pencil, one piece of paper. One thought I can think and wander through and make something of it would be so luxurious. Whoa if I did that, maybe then I’d feel smart again. Maybe then, maybe then I could spell again. Maybe then I would write or type only one word at a time in the right order. I would have thoughts that would open my mind rather than sparks that would make words go flying.

Yes, this is a decision. Drop the balls. Let the plates fall. No more typing and answering questions at the same time. I’m going to look at things and actually see them. When people talk to me, I’m going to actually hear them, not just the words they are saying.

I know that somewhere hidden inside this decision. I will find the essence of being alive.
—me strauss Letting me be


Trée said...

I’m going to look at things and actually see them

When you learn how to do this let me know. I need some private tutoring on this subject. In the meantime, I'll just have some more cookies and tea please. :-)

Buffy said...

I'm good at multitasking when I do not actually have to finish the job.

I get turned sideways and forget.

sophie said...

u must be practising a lot??

ME Strauss said...

Hi Tree,
Here are your cookies and your tea, just as you like it. I think the way to look and actually see things is to see with your eyes and with you heart.

ME Strauss said...

Hi Buffy,
Thanks for visiting. Multitasking does have the power to be very distracting. It's also a one-person kind of thing. Maybe that's what gets you turned sideways and forgetting.

ME Strauss said...

Hello Sophia,
I think my whole life is one big rehearsal and when I finally get it right, I might get to do the real thing. Yes I practice a lot.

yos said...

if multitasking also means being a moving doer, when it means the instability of the glowing source then it is a blessed phenomena wouldn't you say ?

ME Strauss said...

Hi Yos,

I agree that it could, but when moving and doing stops you from seeing and being. That is not good either.

Yos said...

it could be that when measuring and judging and stating our opinions we already do only one and the same thing regardless of the number of tasks..

ME Strauss said...

I'm so delighted to have you here again. I bet that what you say is true for you. I find that when I multitask, I have trouble stopping myself from constantly scanning the environment for information. Nothing gets my complete attention. I want people to have my complete attention when they talk to me.

Indeterminacy said...

I think I'm a multi-tasker, too. It's just the way some people are. We never can really know if we could have experienced something more deeply, it's more about what each experience means to us. Then again it's common sense to believe that a single focus will be best. I hope you find the best way. I have tended to slow down with my multi-tasking and focus more. Yet distractions are wonderful way to combat boredom.

ME Strauss said...

Hi Indie,
I'm not much for boredom either, but I'm trying to do less and go deeper as much as I can. Some days it's harder than others . . .