Sunday, February 12, 2006

Scribbles: Undercover Cat Busts Vet Scam

This Just In from The 65th Crayon:

The 65th Crayon broke the exclusive story this week about the 8-month-old kitten who went under cover to pose as a would-be patient to help police catch a college student impersonating a veterinarian. The student, who has been treating pets without a license, was set up for the sting with the charming little kitten as the bait.

“The story began when Burt the Boston terrier was victim of a botched operation at the hands of this alleged hack veterinarian, college student Stephen Vassal,” said our colorful reporter. “Burt’s companion, Raymond Reid, contacted authorities. “Mr. Reid commented that he should have been suspicious of a vet who only made house calls and did surgery in an undisclosed location. Still Reid said he felt sorry for Vassal.”

Vassal was arrested last week and is being held on $2500 bail.

“Vassal was caught when a police investigator posing as the companion of Fred, the kitten contacted Vassal and asked him to visit an apartment that was rigged with hidden cameras,” the 65th crayon reported. “I was playing a toy on the table. So I saw the whole thing go down. The college brat agreed to neuter the boy kitten for $135. About then I was thinking I was glad I wasn’t a kitten.”

At a news conference yesterday afternoon, both Burt and Fred wore badges from the Police Department. The tapes of the sting were shown on local news later that same evening. Our reporter friend can be seen pointing directly at the accused. Later a complete price list of services was recovered from Vassals belongings.

“Fred the kitten said he was glad that he was able to do something to save animals from being hurt by this person,” our rainbow writer told us. “Fred is now considering a future in law enforcement.”

"That’s disgusting," a cat lover said about the college student performing such operations.

"Doesn’t surprise me in the least. He was probably a liberal arts major," remarked a Harvard professor.

“You’d never see a crayon do such things to a living being,” the 65th crayon said. “We aren’t allowed sharp objects.” Then he tied the belt on his trench coat, picked up his miniature briefcase and walked off to have lunch with his friends Fred the kitten and Darth Tater.

—me strauss Letting me be
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6 comments:

Jennifer said...

"About then I was thinking I was glad I wasn’t a kitten.”

Thanks for the laugh!

I want to go undercover with Mr. 65th one of these days.

Thanks for the sharing the breaking news with us!

ME Strauss said...

Hi Jennifer,
It seems you have become the crayons only loyal fan. But as long as you return, he will be there for you.

Anytime you want to go undercover with him, he's ready to have you come. :)

Liz

The Hungry Writer said...

I'm actually more mortified that the Harvard professor would make such a statement. Thanks for the post.

ME Strauss said...

Hi Lane,
You know the story is written by a crayon. So I'm sure that he got that quote wrong. Take heart from that.
Liz

The Hungry Writer said...

I'll take heart. :)

ME Strauss said...

It's so good to have you back again. You were missed. Don't for a second think you were not.
Liz