Procrastination Remediation

“Procrastination is the gap between intention and action.”
—Psychology Today

For all we've said the past day or so, most of us really are poor procrastinators. Heck, Cheryl at Mad Baggage got me information I needed about t-shirts in a matter of minutes. We’re nothing more than specks in the procrastination universe. To even approach a dirt heap, we would need serious training. Take the test. See for yourself. My guess is that like me, you’ll find you fail miserably.

Click here to take test

As a public service I have written this procrastination remediation. Herein lies your chance to make a place in tomorrow’s . . . or the next day’s . . . planetary system. What kind of procrastinator will you be?

Anxious Agitator Procrastinator To take on this role, you’ll need skills at fearing a task, finding reasons that you will do it wrong, assuming that the world is out to get you, and other low self-esteem issues. Training includes Overwhelmed 101; Unrealistic Time Goals 102, Indecisiveness 204, Blaming Others 302; Denial 405 and 406; Avoidance 410; and some graduate work in Victimism.

Perfectly Peachy Procrastinator To take on this role, you’ll need skills at avoiding risk entirely, knowing that if you never try, you will never fail. In this way you will live a life of a completely unblemished record never receiving a negative review. Training here includes Fear of Success 101; Underachieving 102; How-to Fly Under the Radar 203; and Don’t Look at Me 305—at which point it will be assumed that you will have long since quit showing up.

Incredibly Immortally, Impossible Procrastintor To take on this role, you’ll need to have the skills of a high flyer and a stunt driver. You’ll also have to be a high-end control freak. This is the procrastinator who does it for the thrill and does it to say, "You can’t make me. Just watch." No training is offered or needed. The prerequisite is to have come from the warped end of the gene pool and to have years of experience emulating Peter Pan while ignoring reality.

All three seem to think they work best under pressure. They’re wrong. Work they do is the same or even worse when they work under pressure as not. If you don’t see yourself in the list, you are not a procrastinator. Time to start training or give up the dream. Should you choose training, I feel I should warn you. Psychologists are describing your symptoms and ready to cure you. It will be a noble fight.

Think over your options. There is no deadline. I didn’t make one. I was overwhelmed, didn’t want to fail, and enjoyed the thrill of coming into this unprepared.

If you’re wondering about those ideas you put off because they aren’t ready, that’s not procrastination that’s creativity.

—me strauss Letting me be

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Procrastination: Top Ten Things to Know
How to Stop Procrastinating
Structural Procrastination