Monday, September 12, 2005

Being True to the Future Me

Am I being true to myself? In college I would worry over that question.

Being myself, being true to myself, knowing when to trust my perception of others, I found all of these confusing. I thought, I have so many emotions. Do I always have to go with the one I feel most? If I’m 10% happy does that count less than the 20% nervous I feel? Is one more truly me? I could think myself into a tizzy over such questions trying to experiment with too many possibilities.

Finally I looked outside myself for an answer. I saw Dorothy’s class, Jo’s open acceptance, and Martha’s grace. I wished for my mother’s strength and my father’s silent generosity. I knew that was where I should be looking. I sought out the people who had the qualities that I admired, qualities I wished I could cultivate in me.

The question changed to Am I being true to who I want to be? This question I can check in mirror.

With a focus on that future I could learn to
become her—until she in turn became me.
—me strauss Letting me be

6 comments:

Tanda said...

Ohmygosh, Liz. No one has come closer to describing me than you.

I thought I was the only one...

ME Strauss said...

Tanda,
We're all more alike than we think we are. And we all think we're so different.

smiles,
Liz.

Mark Cross said...

"Am I being true to who I want to be?"

Short answer. No.

Long answer. Noooooo000.

ME Strauss said...

Mark,
I think that is a poem.
If your short answer and yuor long answer average out to nooooO. Then maybe you haven't decided who you want to be. OR maybe you don't really want to be who you think you do.

Mark Cross said...

Both.

ME Strauss said...

Well, that's why you have friends like me and the rest . . . to talk about the possibilities.

You know the address.

I bet I'll beat you there.

smiles,
Liz