Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Lesson in Needy Pink

We all fall down. Most of us get up, brush ourselves off, and move on.

Needy Pink is not a color. It is but then, not really. I had a color in mind when I made up Needy Pink—that shade that calls to mind little girl baby blankets and Barbie dolls—but Needy Pink is more than a color. It’s a metaphor.

Needy Pink is an attitude, a state of mind, the charismatic, clingy part of the people rainbow. All who have been caught in a Needy Pink trap, seem to find that Needy Pink is a relentlessly-giving. pain in the behind.

Needy Pinks are normal people who have gone astray due to some event that didn’t go their way. They were hurt. They fell down. They didn’t get up. They got Needy Pink. Becoming Needy Pink automatically lowers social IQ and colors people’s world view. It causes a planetary shift such that the universe begins to revolve around them. Needy Pinks are consummate victims, who thrive on kind and gracious people taking notice of their needs.

I'm a Needy Pink magnet. Needy Pinks seem to be attracted to me.

Most were easy enough to manage,but one or two Needy Pinks were extra screwy. One got me thinking that this must be a movie, that one of us was the serial killer, but I wasn’t sure which one. I couldn’t do anything without her showing up. The word stalker wasn't used then, but I think she was one. Needy Pink was planning a life around me. I was getting too many,weird little gifts—cards, candles, roses—decorated so boldly that even my coworkers knew another delivery from Pink had arrived.

Unlimited—but not unconditional—giving is a trademark of all Needy Pinks. You can try not accepting the gifts. You don’t have to play Needy’s way, but it’s harder than you might think. After all, who are you to break a Needy Pink’s heart? The noise of it breaking is deafening and quite public. Even the stereotypical Jewish mother cannot out-guilt an expert Needy Pink.

. . . It’s not like you to say something mean. . . . I was just checking to see whether you got it. . . . I don’t need anything in return. . . . Why would you say that to me?. . . I thought you were sick when you didn’t answer my voice mail. . . . I’m delighted you found time to say something. . . . Oh, you’re right 12 dozen roses at work might be a bit much.

I like to carry my own suitcase. I like to drive my own car. I don’t like too many gifts for no reason. Such things feel like they diminish me. At the least they overwhelm me. They make me feel Pink doesn’t trust me to enjoy the company—which means Pink doesn’t see me at all.

Once I got a call from a Needy Pink. It started with “You know I was talking to my friend, Annemarie, and she only wanted to talk about she was doing. Can you believe that? I let her talk for a good five minutes, and then I said, ‘Enough of this let’s talk about me.’ . . .” That’s the Needy Pink mantra.

I felt a little needy today. I put on my on my pink sweatshirt, and I stood before the mirror.

I said, “It’s okay to be needy, but no one looks good in Needy Pink.”

Then I laughed and told myself, “ Oh, let's not talk about me. . . . What do you think of my blog?”

I changed my sweatshirt, brushed myself off, and moved on.

I never liked pink much anyway.

—me strauss Letting me be


for_the_lonely said...

I think that Monday was a needy pink day for me...perhaps a pissed red, I am not sure..LOL but I dust myself off every time..that is the most important thing. to dust yourself off, and keep going..

Have you ever seen the movie "Cable Guy " with Jim Carey? This post reminded me of that !LOL
I hope that you have a good Tuesday!

Hugs to you,

ME Strauss said...

Thanks Sarah,
For the good wishes after what sounds like a not so good day. Glad to hear you dusted yourself of and moved on. No one looks good in Needy Pink. :)


Cheryl said...

There are those that need a hug or a hand up, so they can get back to being who they want to be. There are those who demand them, because they have no intention of changing at all.
Theres a difference between landing on your butt and parking there deliberately.
Please stop comparing yourself in an 'under the weather' day to that professional energy vampire! There must be two similar looking pinks - but only similar until you draw with them.
P.S. Sorry I missed you needing a rest - belated ((((hug))))).

ME Strauss said...

professional energy vampire--I LOVE THAT!!!

What a fabulously insightful and perfectly stated analysis of Needy Pink. I've used that term for a long time and I've never said it so eloquently.
Thank you, too, for worrying about me. Like I said, I never liked pink much anyway. :) (((hug)))

Janet said...

I've heard of tickled pink and pretty in pink but needy pink? That's a new one.

ME Strauss said...

Of course, it's a new one. I made it up. :)


Bluesky_Liz said...

I don't like pink either. And I don't like finding myself in pink.

I find that these sort of people usually leave or get out of your life if you are truthful and don't pad your words. It's because they aren't interested at all in finding a way out of their troubles even though they are grumbling about it all the time. They just want to be fussed over.

ME Strauss said...

HI Liz,
Yes they do want you to make a fuss over them. Other people's needs can be very seductive, until you realize that you have no one to talk to. :(


fineartist said...

I have been a magnet to needy people too. They seem to suck the life and energy from a body; they plum wear a body out.

I love professional energy vampire, and needy pink, well said girls.

As always, beautifully written, and I am glad to see that you are feeling yourself again.

ME Strauss said...

Hello dear FA,
I couldn't stand to be wearing needy pink and I can't imagine what would happen if I did around this bunch.

Thank you for knowing the difference between five minutes of needy and downright needy pink.


Rick said...

On the other hand, needy pink guys (shudder) do the opposite. They stay incognito for a while. Till they find a different shade.

Wayne McEvilly said...

Liz -
This just in!
Needy Pink Post Relevant!
Hope this does not make me Needy Pink. I would not look good in pink! (I don't even look good in black!)
But most of all, I had "vowed" to get off of twitter, and then your deliciously clever tweet drew me in-into this very useful insight into all the Need Pinks past, present and (hopefully not) future in my life.

Del Williams said...

We all have our needy days, but what you describe was total codependent stalker. Eek. The thing is even though needy pink is a turn off that should not mean that we have to ignore our own needs so we don't look that way. I think with great friends and family you won't fall into that, it's the ones who are really lonely who fall fast and hard. I agree with you about gifts for no reason and more importantly gifts that look like from a significant other. Double eek.