Thursday, September 21, 2006

Whole Again for the First Time


Her name was Meadow, though she’d never seen one. She dreamed of one day finding a meadow, having a picnic, and feeling at home there. Until then life was about food, clothing, and shelter, and a green balloon.

Meadows don’t have boundaries or edges. They’re wide open to the sky above and flat to the ground. They don’t seek company. They wait for folks to discover them and their wildflowers. Some people do. Some people run over them without even noticing the meadow they are trampling. The name was well-chosen for this little girl.

The world couldn’t see that then. Neither could Meadow. Meadow thought she was like the green balloon.

Because she thought it, it was true.

Meadow didn't tell anyone, but she kept her problems in that green balloon. She also tucked in the bad feelings that problems bring with them. She knew that way the bad things always were contained. She thought that meant she’d be safe and never be hurt. She didn’t know that other feelings were trapped in there too − good feelings − feelings about believing, knowing, trusting, and . . . just being, the right to be boring.

So the balloon became part of her. Meadow tied it to her wrist the way children do. She started to think of herself as the girl with the green balloon. The world thought it curious that she never let go of her balloon, not ever.

Meadow held onto that balloon even when it meant letting go of living life. When she couldn’t get the balloon through a door, she wasn’t invited to the party. She couldn’t go lots of places or do lots of things because of the balloon and what was inside it. When the balloon got in the way, she could not let go of it. So the world let go of her.

Meadow, the girl with the green balloon, felt alone left behind.

Then someone asked her, “What do you keep that silly balloon for?”

She told him.

“Why would you do that? Those problems are over. You're grown now, if they happen again, you'd know what to do. Imagine if you had your feelings inside you.”

All Meadow had to do was untie the string and let the balloon go.

It seems so simple.

It was. I did it.

−me strauss Letting me be

6 comments:

Katrina said...

I'm so happy not to 'hear' your words. I'm joyed to Feel them and to understand them. Every day I read your Blog, is a connection I would have been missing had I not googled those 5 silly words one week ago.
From your whimsical words to the weighted ones, there is a breath that whispers Truth around scary corners and sheds light where I may not have felt any. You're a person who helps others re-member. I don't think there is a greater Gift a person could give.
Thank You again for helping me to re-member Self, Love and Truth.

ME Strauss said...

Hello Katrina,
Truth around the scary corners. That is a beaautiful way to name the feeling that we all sometimes have. It is easier knowing that we don't have to walk alone.

sarah flanigan said...

You're a very gifted writer. You do all the right things with your words. It's so easy to step inside your story and just breathe. Really wonderful.
sf

ME Strauss said...

Sarah,
I don't know where you come from, but it's sure nice to have you here. Thank you for what you're saying. I mean that.

sarah flanigan said...

I come from the a planet far, far away. LOL. I meant every word.
sf

ME Strauss said...

Ha! Sarah, I wonder whether your planet is anywhere near mine. . . . thank you and I mean that too.