Thursday, September 07, 2006

When the Truth Changes

I don’t really mind when things don’t happen as planned. I avoid plans whenever I can myself. Plans tend to hang over me, like leafy vines. Even plans I look forward to have a weird sort of “have-to-ness” about them. I’d do well in a world where spontaneity worked without cost in the form of long lines, or lost seats, or an inability to attend altogether. But that’s for another world not this one.

Managing in the world of other people means making appointments in time. It means saying I’ll meet you here. I’ll call then. We’ll have a lunch and discuss our next move. Those are plans that are definite unless they are changed. Aren’t they? They're the truth when they are said, but then sometimes. The truth changes.

I understand that sometimes new information, or more consideration, or even a change of heart makes a person decide that such a plan is no longer a good idea. That is when the truth changes. The truth I’ll meet you, I’ll call you, We’ll have lunch, is no longer true.

The problem is when the person who has changed the truth doesn’t communicate that change.

So I wonder. Has the truth changed or did the person forget? Did the truth change for a reason that I should know? Has it changed for good or momentarily?

Some folks automatically update the truth when it when it changes. Other do not.

Asking about a change with the second group usually falls flat. If they cannot update the truth, it seems they cannot respond at all.

The void upsets me. I feel I believed someone valued and respected me and instead I find it was an empty shell who gave me nice words that unraveled themselves. That's uncomfortable, especially when I never get to find out what the the truth was, or is, or might have been.

We learn as a child what a plan and a promise it. We learn in business to value our word. When we don't keep it, what does it say that we think about the person we gave it to?

I know of people who don't do as they say or let others know that they cannot. Is it an act of cowardice to avoid an act of telling the truth? Or is it an action of a time when time is like a time warp and thought are of thinking and not of people?

I'm confused that bravery is in short supply to people made of the same stuff as stars.
I'm confused that people, even me, can think of thinking more than thinking of other people.
But then I'm confused a lot.

That seems to be a truth that doesn't change.

−me strauss Letting me be


michaelm said...


I think the majority of problems such as this exist simply because we are all so busy with our lives. It's sad in a way but when we were younger, promises and truths seemed easier to keep. There was less on our plates back then. I usually try like hell to give a person the benefit of the doubt at times like this. If I find them to be basically "untrue" for whatever reason, I drop the relationship like a hot potato. If there's one thing I really despise it's people that think their time is more valuable than mine.


ME Strauss said...

Yeah, Michael, I don't mind the change. What I mind is when the change isn't mentioned. So the phone call or meeting just lays in the air not happening . . . not confirmed when attempts are made.

That's rude. No one has to keep to something said too quickly or if something has come up to change the way things are.

But to ignore that something was planned as if it didn't happen, even when asked about it. That's sad and not nice either. :)

Ruth said...

Hmm, This is a lovely article, but, now I too am confused :)

Ruth, alias, Roofy,

ME Strauss said...

The truth changes. Maybe we ought to figure we'll not be confused when it changes the next time and leave it at that. :)