Double Exposure

They have a name for déjà vu. That thing that happens when the world seems to be having some sort of instant replay of your life in a moment right after another. Crosby, Stills, and Nash even sang about it. But there’s this other thing that happens. It’s the same, but slightly different.

It works like this.

I’ll be halfway through my day and I’ll find myself thinking that I need to talk to my brother. I’ll know that what he told me yesterday was just . . . wrong. I’ll start forming my argument for how his thinking was totally off base and prepare to call him. Then I’ll realize that I haven’t talked to my brother for at least two months—since my last birthday. I must be thinking of a conversation that I had a dream about.

My son just discovered this phenomena when he was home from college over spring break. He had one word for it. Irritating.

I told him it happens even more often and with more chilling clarity when you have the kind of jet lag that you get from 25 hours of airplane flights. That it can go on for three days before your brain readjusts. It’s like your mind needs airing out or something.

One of these times, I’m actually going to call my brother. I’ll call and my brother will think I’m going loony. With two brothers, there’s twice the chance.

If there’s a name for déjà vu, why isn’t there a name for this strange double dreaming phenomena?

I need one fast. I’m facing double exposure.

—me strauss Letting me be