Rollercoaster . . . rollercoaster . . . rollercoaster . . . rollercoaster. . . How many times have I heard people use that word this week?How many times have I felt the rattle of a rollercoaster shake things up in my own heart? How well I remember that little voice inside me whisper as the rails click by, “Don’t give up. Don’t give up.” Oh I didn’t. I don’t know how to give up. Giving up wasn’t an option. It’s the worry of giving out that wore at me and wore me down.
How well I remember that damn rollercoaster. I was up. Then I was down. Sometimes it was minutes apart. I hardly knew what was going on. My eyes were blurry. Strapped in, pushed back to the seat. How did I get there? Who took my control? That was one ride I could have done without.
I like my feelings and my feet in one place standing, firmly planted on the ground. I don’t have to be smiling, but I don’t like being twisted, turned and up-side down. . . . rollercoaster . . . I never paid for that ride. I never asked for it either. I’m still not sure how I got off, but it took weeks before I felt right using my legs again.
Rollercoasters are supposed to be in lush green places under bright blue skies. They belong in places where children have happy smiles, and summer sun shines down. They don’t belong inside people in winter, making them feel all out of control.
Yet this week, I heard so many say that word rollercoaster. It makes me sad just to think of it.
Tell those rollercoasters to go outside.
—me strauss Letting me be
10 comments:
It’s the worry of giving out that wore at me and wore me down.
Liz, where did you learn to be so wise. I want to go to that school. I'll go grab my pencil and paper, don't go anywhere. :-)
Hello, friend,
I'm not going anywhere. I'm here.
Liz
Hi Dawn,
Yeah, me too, I'm glad to have my feet on the ground--at least for the moment. I wish that those around me did. So many rollercoasters seem to be running overtime these days. I want to help or say. It's okay. You'll get a chance to jump off at some point I promise that you will.
The word verification for this started with pms. :)
Liz
My father took me on the Materhorn at Disneyland against my better judgement. It was a terrifying experience. To this day, I am petrified at the thought of them, the interior ones you speak of, or the ones in sunny,grassy theme parks. I resonate with the terror and the relief you speak of, Liz. And you're right, the word and the experience seem to be much more common these days. I'm so grateful you've finally got your long legs back firmly on the ground.
How well I remember that damn rollercoaster. I was up. Then I was down. Sometimes it was minutes apart. I hardly knew what was going on.....They don’t belong inside people in winter, making them feel all out of control.
Liz my friend, you are a very insightful and wonderful woman, putting into words what so many of us have felt (for me just this week) thank you for sharing your heart and your wisdom with us, I so look forward to my time here with you (hugs)
Hope you have a good weekend!
Hi mergrl,
Like I said too many people have been on a rollercoaster this week. I'm so sorry you were one of them. I hope your weekend is a wonderful one too.
Liz
I'm not much for rollercoasters, real ones or "life ones". So I don't go on ones!
Me neither, Melly on both kinds as well. So it's off to the wine again for us.
Liz
Liz,
Love how you combine diverse elements in your writing to vivify the concepts you're working with. Too much of what we experience in life is like being on a provervbial "roller coaster," thus finding balance is never easy when we're up and down all the time.
Scot
Scot,
So glad to see you back. I've been stopping by and hoping you were still just visiting with your son. Thank you for your words of encouragment.
liz
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