Saturday, September 10, 2005

Helplessness

Annie and I were born 6 months apart.

When we were young . . .
I used to say I wanted to die by my 65th birthday. I didn’t want my friends to die before me. Annie would say she wanted to be 100. She didn’t want to give a minute of her live away.

Both of my parents had died by the time I was 32. Both of Annie’s parents now live in an assisted-care home. I see why people say, “I don’t want to be a burden.”

Now we are older . . .
I’ve revised my final age higher. Annie has revised hers lower.

I can watch. I can care. I can’t lift the weight of my friend’s burden.
I’m learning what helplessness means.
—me strauss Letting me be

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is a scary thought when you realize that for all your good intentions, there isn't much you can do to help in situations like that. I can relate.

I hope everything works out OK.

"ME" Liz Strauss said...

Wow, Jennifer.
Thank you. It's hard to warch and not be able to do anything.

There's some "it's not me" involved as well, I think.

Liz

Anonymous said...

You watch because you care, and I suspect strongly that you listen.

You are there for her; you are present for her, soothing her, and that in itself is quality/caring.

Whether it is listening to her vent or even better still, taking her out to forget. Laughing and crying and then laughing again.

You are helping her more than you feel, though we want to do so much more. Yes? We forget that what we are doing is enough. When we give of ourselves we give all we have, and it is enough.

I’m sending loads of good karma to you and Annie, and as soon as the happy fairy has finished dusting down ‘Zilla, he will be coming by, so leave a light on. (((((((proper hug inserted here))))) Lori

"ME" Liz Strauss said...

You are a very good one that you would take the time to say all of that.

It is the not talking and the silent caring that happens here.

Thank you for the hugs.

smiles,
Liz

Anonymous said...

Happy holidays!