Monday, August 29, 2005

Questions of Conflict

Marlene said, “There is no act of mercy that does not gift both parties.”


When I am in a conflict, I often find myself wanting to help the other side. It’s wrong for the other side, and it’s wrong for me. Is this a natural instinct to help those who are hurting? Is it self-preservation deceiving me? Maybe it’s just a benevolent distraction.


At what point does my forgiveness give people permission not to consider me?
—me strauss Letting me be

4 comments:

Yuna said...

As hard as it sounds.. sometimes forgiving, helping others and letting go our own benefits is the only way to turn things around... After all, the world is built around love...

ME Strauss said...

Yuna,
What you write is both beautiful and true. Truth and forgiveness have carried me through many hard times. I wonder when forgiveness turns to being a victim. . .
me

Cheryl said...

There are occasions when forgiving someone is best done without any direct reference. Some people (too many) are brought up to see an olive branch as a sign of weakness not strength, something to despise and not respect, to take your willingness to compromise or agree to differ as 'proof' that they have won, were in the right all along etc etc.
Poor people, life must be all about defences, for them.
And I might forgive a dog for biting me, even feel affectionate towards it, but that doesnt mean putting my hand back in its mouth. Does that make any sense at all?
I used to fret on this, but it boils down to 'hate the sin, love the sinner' - its OK to preserve yourself.

ME Strauss said...

Cheryl,
what you say always makws sense. I hadn't really thought about the fact that some people just globally discount any forgiveness as a win on their part--I knew they did I just hadn't put it to words. Then they play on that as a vlunerability.

Your analogy of the dog is a good one. It pretty much sums it up. I too, was taught hate the sin and love the sinner . . . but you don't have to invite the sinner to lunch after either.
smiles,
Liz