Friday, July 29, 2005

My Mind on Rewind

I am inexplicably afraid of high open places and small closed spaces. When people talk about pain, it makes my legs hurt.

Someone told me, "If you don't like high, open places, you probably died from a fall in a past life."

I must have died from a fall and been buried alive, if that's how it works. I'm going with a wiring problem on the legs thing. No, the problem is in my genes.

BASIC SETTING: absolutely no risk/absolutely no risk
EXCEPTIONS: to save life of loved ones
INCLUSIONS: no positioning of the body in places in which an overactive mind might possibly conceive of pain as the outcome

I do not seek the company of activities that risk physical pain. My brain is programmed to avoid it. I do not jump from airplanes or ride in submarines, no bronco busting, not even an occasional, deep sea dive into an underwater grotto. It's curious that I seem to be hardwired this way.

Margaret says I should leave my brain to medical science. I say it's an electrical short, like a glitch in an old VCR. I do something; my brain auto-rewinds, and I'm sucked right out of wherever I was. I'm a superhero in reverse.

Rewind is so fast; it's an adrenaline rush of its own.
—me strauss Letting me be

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