The Dumbbell Nebula

Do you think if I hold myself still enough, go inside far enough, that I might fly out past the stars to the dumbbell nebula?

I wouldn’t mind if I had to leave my body here. But could I take my mind, and my mind’s eye, and my ability to feel? Just for once I’d like to see for real the things I see in photographs—the things that even this imagination can’t spread wide enough to grasp.

I just know that if I could float around the Milky Way, my hands, my heart would understand it. If I saw just one black hole, I’d know the cause of fear. Laying in the cradle of the dumbbell nebula, I would feel the pain of every child in the universe. If I could see a star be born, I’m certain I’d be wise. For I would be in the presence of the heart of God. I want to bring that knowledge back to give to everyone.

I hear fears when people talk and see sadness in their eyes. In my dreams we’re whole again. I take them in my arms and tell them everything’s all right. That’s why I walk alone at night and look up at the sky. That’s why I write these stories so they’ll remember how to be a child.

There seems to be so much light waiting up beyond the stars, so much potential there. If I could find a way to touch it, I could share it here.

—me strauss Letting me be